If you're striving to improve the quality of your sleep, here’s my best advice to you: adjust your expectations. Unrealistic expectations about the sleep process can disturb your sleep just as surely as a stressful lifestyle, excess caffeine consumption, or late-night computer use. Having realistic expectations allows the natural sleep process to unfold smoothly and bring you the natural, restful sleep you need.
One unrealistic expectation I've heard again and again in over a decade of experience as a sleep trainer and coach, is the idea that sleep should be a continuous, one-way path. Many people, it seems, believe they are supposed to lay their head on the pillow, close their eyes, and slide straight down into deep, unconscious sleep that lasts until morning.
Now, it's true that we may sometimes experience falling asleep in that way. But the actual process of falling asleep more like a roller-coaster than a slide. As we lie quietly with eyes closed, brain activity slows down, then speeds up again. This may recur several times in the process of falling asleep. Each time our brainwaves slow down, we enter a state of light sleep. Each time our brainwaves speed up, we wake up again. Little by little, the waking periods are phased out and deeper, more continuous sleep prevails. That's how natural sleep arrives.
But here's where the sleep roller-coaster sometimes goes off the rails. During those periods of light sleep, we're unaware. And each time we shift back into quiet waking, partial awareness returns. Not realizing that those brief, partial awakenings are a perfectly normal part of the process, we assume that sleep has eluded us: we're awake! We may feel frustrated, even angry. Those feelings of frustration and anger are highly stimulating. They wake you up just as surely as any stimulant.
Tonight at bedtime, try something different. As you rest quietly, waiting for sleep to come, see if you can very observe and even encourage those alternating periods of waking and sleep that precede full sleep onset. Welcome each brief awakening as a sign that the natural sleep process is right on track. Allow sleep to arrive in its own good time!
To learn the gentle, pleasurable, sleep-inducing techniques of the SOUNDER SLEEP SYSTEM, purchase and download instantly: Our REST ASSURED self-help audio program
Join our online professional training program: become a Somatic Sleep Educator and Sleep Coach