"And to think that ten years ago, I was crazy about her! That I stooped to betrayal for her beauty!..."
Continuing our Enrique Santos Discépolo obsession here at Tango Decoder, we present our version of ESTA NOCHE ME EMBORRACHO (Tonight I'm getting drunk).
Disclaimer: The portrait that the song's narrator paints of his former lover is about as unsympathetic as could be imagined. This lyric is presented for scholarly purposes only. Attitudes and opinions expressed in it do not reflect those of Tango Decoder. Read at your own risk....!
Esta noche me emborracho
(Tonight, I'm getting drunk)
Tango, 1928
Music: Enrique Santos Discépolo
Lyrics: Enrique Santos Discépolo
YouTube: D'Arienzo/Echagüe; Tanturi/Castillo; Biagi/Saavedra. Song data at tango.info.
Sola, fané, descangayada, la vi esta madrugada salir de un cabaret; flaca, dos cuartas de cogote, y una percha en el escote bajo la nuez; chueca, vestida de pebeta, teñida y coqueteando su desnudez… Parecía un gallo desplumao, mostrando al compadrear el cuero picoteao… Yo que sé cuando no aguanto más al verla, así, rajé, pa’ no yorar.
¡Y pensar que hace diez años, fue mi locura! ¡Que llegué hasta la traición por su hermosura!… Que esto que hoy es un cascajo fue la dulce metedura donde yo perdí el honor; que chiflao por su belleza le quité el pan a la vieja, me hice ruin y pechador… Que quedé sin un amigo, que viví de mala fe, que me tuvo de rodillas, sin moral, hecho un mendigo, cuando se fue.
Nunca soñé que la vería en un “requiescat in pace” tan cruel como el de hoy. ¡Mire, si no es pa’ suicidarse que por ese cachivache sea lo que soy!… Fiera venganza la del tiempo, que le hace ver deshecho lo que uno amó… Este encuentro me ha hecho tanto mal, que si lo pienso más termino envenenao. Esta noche me emborracho bien, me mamo, ¡bien mamao!, pa’ no pensar.
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Alone, worn out, broken down, I saw her at dawn this morning coming out of a cabaret; rail-thin, pencil-necked,* and a coat-hanger at the neckline* under her Adam's apple.* Bow-legged, dressed like a streetwalker,* dyed hair and flaunting her nakedness... She looked like a plucked rooster strutting around, showing off its pecked hide. I, who know when I’ve had enough, on seeing her that way, hurried away just to keep from crying.
And to think that ten years ago, I was crazy about her! That I stooped to betrayal for her beauty!... That this, which is today a total wreck, was the tender indiscretion* to which I lost my dignity; that I, crazy about her beauty, stole food from my own mother, became heartless, a freeloader; That I didn't have a friend in the world, that I lived by cheating others, that she had me on my knees, amoral, reduced to begging, when she left.
I never dreamed that I'd consider her "dead to me"* so heartlessly as today. Look, isn't it just to die for, that for this piece of trash I might be what I am!... Harsh, time's vengeance, That brings one to witness the ruin Of the one he loved... This affair left me in such bad shape that if I think of it again I end up getting plastered.* Tonight I’ll get good and drunk! Pissed! Totally pissed! So as not to think.
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NOTES:
* pencil-necked: dos cuartas de cogote, literally, "two hands-breadths of nape." The nape is the back of the neck, but here it seems to refer to the front of the throat.
* a coat-hanger in the neckline: una percha en el escote. Possibly a derisive reference to clavicles that protrude as a result of emaciation, giving the appearance of a coat hanger at the neckline. Alternately, a metaphorical reference to an overly-revealing décolletage.
* Adam's apple: nuez, a walnut, or Adam's apple.
* dressed like a streetwalker: pebeta. Originally a term that a pimp used to addressed his woman, possibly derived from the Italian per quanto?—How much? A "broad." May simply mean a young girl; an affectionate form of adress, as in the tangos Atenti pebeta or Salí pebeta bailá. The context suggests the original interpretation.
* indiscretion: metedura. The term has several meanings: obsession, infatuation, indiscretion. All seem relevant here.
* "dead to me": en un requiescat in pace. In Latin America the Latin phrase "rest in peace" is used colloquially to denote a person so despicable that one intends to ignore them and never speak of them again. In English, to say that someone is, "dead to me" has much the same meaning.
* plastered: envenenao. Literally, "poisoned." The word has varied connotations including intoxicated, embittered, sour, confused, embroiled, tangled, or even "infected with a venereal disease." Our rendering of the phrase yields a conundrum typical of Discépolo: "...if I think of it, I end up getting (drunk)... Tonight I'll get drunk... so as not to think."